The Problem with Self Help

self-help1Self help books are constantly the top of many best seller lists.

Constantly, someone comes out with a new book that promises to make you better or make life easier. But my experience has always been we can only help ourselves so much.

Honestly – The problem with self-help is self. We think that alone we can unlock the secrets to the perfect life we long for.

You can’t do it all alone. You aren’t the only one how can help yourself. And sometimes because we are unreliable narrators, we are actually unable to help ourselves or really see where we need to improve.

As good as Russell Wilson is, he needs a team to win. As good as Jake Arrieta pitches, he still need others to score runs. As good as Serena Williams is, she needs a coach to make her the best. As good as Jordan Spieth is, he still needs his caddy’s counsel to make the best shot.

We need others to become the best version of us. We need others to help us reach our goals. Doing it by yourself is lonely. Life is better together.

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Better Together

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Law #25: Life is better when shared

In 2007, a movie adaptation of the book Into the Wild was made. The popular story had a very quotable quote – “Happiness is only real when shared”

The root of Law #25 was formed from this movie quote. Sharing happiness and experiences is better than not.

But there was always something that didn’t sit right with me. To me, it implies that happy isn’t real when it’s not shared. While there might be some truth in the intent of this quote, I have done many things and travelled places on my own and to say the happiness I experienced isn’t real would be false. I’ve loved it in fact. The places I’ve seen, the culture I’ve experienced, these things have created great memories and brought me a large amount of happiness.

BUT… I would be lying if denied the fact that sometimes I wish I had some one to share some of those experiences and memories with. Someone to take pictures with. Some who I can sit in a coffee shop with in 10 years and laugh about our adventures together.

So while happiness is real when not shared. There is NO doubt that life is better when shared. Life is not about what we get to do and see, it’s about the people who we do and see those things with. It’s just better together.